How do you feel?

I just woke up right now with you on my mind. It is the middle of the night and I am thinking about you. All I can think about is you. Not in a romantic way may I add, but then again cannot be too sure either. I just keep wondering to myself so many things about you that I decided to get up and write to you. I need to express my thoughts, impressions and, why not, special feelings for you. Writing seemed to be the best way of communicating so I would erase whatever seemed strange or incomplete. I would be able to make the necessary changes so it could almost be perfect. I had to write. Specially for someone like you.

I want to start by stating what a special being you are. A rare kind. So rare it feels you are not quite human, that you come from another world. I could (and must) obviously believe you are human, but sometimes I truly feel you are just almost human. It is as if you went to a great school of how to behave like us and graduated with honours. They were great teachers and you were by far their best student.

God only knows how far you’ve come to get all this accomplished and also “from” how far. Do you and Him share the secret of why go through all this trouble? Is it some special mission for you here? I think so. I truly believe you were exactly as special in the distant star you come from so you were the selected one. And there wasn’t even a competition. You were the only one. You had always been. Did this give you a mixed feeling of not belonging there or here? Does someone miss you back there? Do you?

I guess that even the very VIP special ones like yourself get some sort of punishment to be kept in line. For you, it was gravity. You can’t just go  back there for you are not stronger than gravity. It keeps you here. It is your own little prison out in the open air. 

I am certain you developed a gift of knowing what people think or how they feel. Maybe I did that too by being so close to you for I am sometimes sure that you are not really here. That not only your mind is wandering around but also that your heart feels another world is calling you. Your absent, dristracted look means you hear them, you communicate back. I also see others mistaking your behaviour with loneliness and taking your ideas and ideals for craziness. I wonder whether people’s limitations make you angry or frustrated or if your wisdom makes it all turn into a great tragic comedy inside your own private theatre. I hope it does. That would make you more human (for me). 

By rights, we should be friends, but I fear I may also be a limitation for you. Just the thought of it makes me feel pathetic. This awkard possibility makes me want to throw out in the open my unlimited care for you. And here I am. Trying to somehow help you (or rescue me). Be there for you. For me as well because my human selfishness makes it impossible for me to imagine living far from you. I want to give you back at least a little of the much you give. Would you accept that? Could you take this? That this is how I feel for and about you? Therefore my great concern and may I admit, even curiosity, is… how do you feel?

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One Comment Add yours

  1. Thank you so much, you’ve been too kind…
    I am actually feeling very good!!!! kkkkkk
    Saudades. Bjs!!

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