Flirting is an art. Many are born with this gift. Too many try to have it. Few strive as also many get left behind by society imposed standards or even quit it due to pure lazyness. Why being lazy on something many seek for? Because it takes courage to flirt. It takes guts to keep it going. And, my friends, it takes wit. It is highly comparable to a chess game. It is a mental capacity, and may God forgive those poor souls who think (even poorer those who believe!) that flirting has any, anything to do with emotions. Forgive them, Father, for they do not know what they do. I do tend to agree there is one little item that may be defined as emotion on the flirting amusement art: self esteem.
The lower you have it, the better flirter you can be. Easy to understand: you will always flirt on a safe side, seeming to be a little naive (hmmm, attractive!) and pretending not to know the game is on until the other one really lays it on the table. Then you leave. You leave simply because you cannot accept someone wanting you for real, afterall remember: you don’t have self esteem enough to believe anyone wants you. So you leave the scene. Excellent move! It makes the other want you even more. You won the round.
The higher self esteem you have, the better you can be because you are a natural. You know you are good and it will come out easily to look into the other’s eyes, smile, position yourself (charming!) and lead the game. May the Devil accompany your targets, poor souls… but be careful! Do not (never, ever) be pretentious and even less arrogant. Those are 2 ultimate non flirting items and go in the book of “how not to act or to be when flirting”.
Back to courage: it takes courage to play a game for minutes, hours, days or weeks long and keep it going, keep it interesting above all. If you can’t achieve that, go back to paragraph 1 and start all over again. Wit. Master this skill if you want to be a good flirter. And that includes the ending part of the flirt. A true flirter does not seek the tangible results (you follow?). The expert flirter seeks a flirt: the intoxication of being dominating and dominated from a split of seconds. The movements, the understading of whose turn it is now, the smiles, the events, the words, the scenario (real or imaginative)… everything that makes a flirter fly up to his/hers own private little heaven. Do not attempt to cut a flirter’s moment with romance. You will be banished from the circle or maybe even ignored, doomed forever in the pitiful stage of hope of true something (love?). You follow now why wit and flirt walk hand in hand?